Slow Horses (season 5)

In the shadowed corridors of MI5’s Slough House, the misfit agents led by the rumpled Jackson Lamb find themselves unraveling a web of urban chaos when tech whiz Roddy Ho parades a stunning new girlfriend, sparking whispers of ulterior motives among the team. As freakish incidents erupt across London—from botched hits to cryptic sabotage—the Slow Horses dig deeper, uncovering threads that tie the mayhem to far-right agitators, phantom assassins, and a personal vendetta aimed straight at Ho’s inflated ego. Guided by the unwritten “London Rules” of spycraft, Lamb’s crew navigates betrayals and bombshells, piecing together a conspiracy that blurs the line between random terror and calculated revenge, all while dodging the prying eyes of their upscale MI5 rivals.

Slow Horses Mini-Review (S5: E1-3)

Perhaps fans of the series will be able to slip into season 5 of Slow Horses with ease, but if you are new to the series, there’s very little reason to start. There’s not a likable character amongst the cast, and loving to hate Gary Oldman’s character isn’t enough to warrant watching this under-polished, paint-by-numbers soap opera posing as a whodunnit.

                   

WOKE REPORT

In A White Room With Black Targets

• The season begins with a white mass shooter who has been radicalized by a populist right-wing political candidate and a website for “disaffected males.” QUOTE: “He felt rejected by women, ignored by society, that his British identity was being eroded.” So, of course, he gets a fully automatic rifle and murders 11 people, starting with an Indian stumping for the liberal mayoral candidate.
  • During the investigation, members of MI5 ask, “Did he ever express extreme views on race or immigration?” This is after discovering that he was interested in the white mayoral candidate who wants to punish criminals.

Medroxyprogesterone

• Including the aforementioned element, the show is exactly the kind of testosterone-bleaching gender-neutralizing trash that social media would make you believe the UK has become. With the exception of an elderly woman, every trace of femininity in the female characters has been substituted for male caricaturisms, and the men are either violent criminals, adulterers, or so severely emotionally damaged as to be neuters.
  • A midget lesbian knocks a man out of the way of a speeding car, and he’s completely douchey about it.
    • Later, he’s accused of being an INCEL.
    • Apparently, his sexual misadventures are a regular punchline throughout the series.
  • A tall male police officer at the scene of a crime is a complete dunderhead. So much so that he can’t tell that the mass shooter didn’t kill himself despite the clear entrance wound at the top back of his head and the exit wound being his missing face. But don’t worry, one of the show’s many strong and independent women is there to point out all of his many faults as both a person and a cop.
  • The show is so biased against men and so intent on pretending like women are no different than them (except for being superior in every way) that in a scene in which the main characters escape confinement, they brutalize a huge male agent while the “tough,” thick, and shorn-headed black female agent gets captured without any physical violence.
  • There’s a ton of emasculating “humor” directed at the entire male cast.
  • A three-foot-tall woman who dresses masculinely is seemingly the team’s bad@$$.
  • The list could go on and on.

Simone Biles

• One of the characters who was emotionally traumatized by the events of last season is temporarily leaving the team to get her head on straight. Obviously, there’s nothing woke about suffering from legitimate trauma or needing time away to recuperate. What is woke is how the show treats it. Her male counterpart tells her, “Taking a mental health break is pretty brave.”
  • This is the same false narrative that Biles’ supporters built around her when she abandoned her team during the 2021 Olympics. It may have been necessary. It may have even been the right thing to do. However, that’s not the same thing as bravery. Bravery is persevering in spite of obstacles, both physical and mental.

It’s Systemic

• They cast a 7-foot-tall, 340 lbs, muscular black man to portray the diverse mayoral candidate’s campaign manager just so a white MI5 agent can mistakenly assume that he’s his security. You know… like he’s inherently racist.