Moana (live-action)

You've already seen Moana, and it was better then (marginally). Stop giving Disney your money and they might stop making this slop
23125
Starring
Catherine Laga'aia, Dwayne Johnson, John Tui
Director
Thomas Kail
Rating
PG
Genre
Action, Adventure, Comedy, Family
Release date
July 10, 2026
Rating Summary
Another soulless copy, this time of a mediocre film rather than a classic, the live-action Moana is the pinnacle of Disney's devolution into that of a cash grab grifter. They will single-handedly usher in the age of AI replacing 90% of cinema.

On the ancient island of Motunui, a strong-willed young navigator named Moana is chosen by the ocean itself to embark on a daring voyage across the vast Pacific. Teaming up with the legendary demigod Maui, she sets out to restore the heart of Te Fiti and save her people from a spreading darkness that threatens all life.

Moana (live-action) REVIEW

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Parental Notes

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Our Parental Notes flag the material parents may want to know about before pressing play, including profanity, blasphemy, adult content, extreme violence, frightening intensity, hyper-stimulating sequences, and other family-content concerns.

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James Carrick

James Carrick is a passionate film enthusiast with a degree in theater and philosophy. James approaches dramatic criticism from a philosophic foundation grounded in aesthetics and ethics, offering insight and analysis that reveals layers of cinematic narrative with a touch of irreverence and a dash of snark.

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  1. Sweet Deals July 9, 2026 at

    Disney should have waited twenty or at least ten years before releasing a live-action remake of a movie originally released in 2017.

    I wasn’t very fond of the original Moana because of its cringe/sarcasm/social media humor. I could only hope Disney bucks their track record of releasing live-action remakes that wreck the original and instead release a more sincere version of Moana’s story.

  2. TheAutisticPatriot93 July 9, 2026 at

    Disney: “Coming to a theater near you”

    Me: Thanks for the warning.

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