Superman and Lois (season 3)

Superman and Lois tell the continuing tale of the world’s greatest superhero…and every solitary friend and family member in his Rolodex, regardless of how uninteresting or banal their lives might be.

After the death of Ma Kent, the first season of Superman & Lois had the couple and their twin teenage boys move to the Kent Farm in Smallville in order to help heal their troubled family. The trouble in question is solely on the shoulders of Clark, whose double life has kept him away from home far too much. While I concede that it’s a realistic issue, the thought of Superman being a less-than-great husband and father rubbed me the wrong way and immediately put me on the defensive. However, the first season mostly won me over. It wasn’t perfect by any stretch but it was good enough and, more importantly, it didn’t $h!t all over Supes, turning him into a complete beta.

Then season two rolled along, and it started out ok but got progressively CW’d, with silly relationship problems, sillier solutions, and the introduction of far too many side characters and side plots. Still, it wasn’t complete garbage and had built enough goodwill to warrant giving season 3 a try.

Superman and Lois (S3 E1 – Closer)

The premier episode of season 3 finds us a month or so after the events of season 2. Clark and Lois have been putting their lives back together and working hard on rekindling their relationship. It’s a mostly skippable episode that spends much of its time reminding us of what happened last season and reintroducing us to its many, many characters.

The show has riveting moments like Lana (who is the mayor of Smallville, because she is) discovering that the high school is riddled with toxic black mold. Then her soon-to-be ex-husband bangs Lois and Clark’s ridiculous boss (she is the worst), and the two almost get caught when Lana finally hands over the signed divorce papers. You know, the exact thing that you were looking for in a TV series about a guy who can benchpress aircraft carriers and shoot lasers out of his eyes.

Don’t worry, the episode also delivers heart-pounding excitement like when the ever-fumbling, useless, and moping twin son who managed to inherit superpowers yet still hardly smiles does a pisspoor job of rescuing some people in Kuala Lumpur, and Clark, who is training him to use his powers, doesn’t school him on what he did wrong, but yells at him and sends him home.

Generally speaking, the episode was boring, and stuffed with superfluous side character C-plots that I couldn’t care any less about. We’ll see if episode two gives me enough of a reason to continue watching and reviewing the series.

Superman and Lois (S3 E2 – Uncontrolable Force)

So far, each episode’s acting is getting progressively worse commensurate with the subplots and dialogue. The main bad guy looks straight out of the 90s Mighty Morphing Power Rangers, and every scene is about some childish relationship drama (that goes for the adults as well). Basically, the show has become 95% soap opera and 5% Superman.

To put things into perspective, a 15-year-old girl from an alternate universe “does projects” for the D.O.D. in her spare time on a laptop in the middle of a busy diner less than a foot away from civilians, and she says it loudly enough that anyone could easily overhear it. That’s the kind of show that this is. It’s Shark Girl and Lava Boy with teenage angst and less action.

Superman and Lois (S3 E3 – In Cold Blood)

Superman and Lois is now totally filled with unlikeable and completely unreasonable characters, mind-numbingly boring sub-plots, and a Superman who has been thematically cuckolded in deference to his wife’s “adventures” and his children’s obnoxious whining.

The program is more or less done with Clark, his sons, General Lane, and even John Henry Irons. Instead, it has nearly completely shifted its focus onto the female characters. Superman might be on screen for 3 minutes in each episode, and you can be sure that for 1.5 of them, Lois is piloting the drama. When the twin Kent boys are occasionally on screen, it is almost always in the company of a smarter, wiser, and more put-together female supporting character.

Sara is practically bipolar now. When she’s not dragging the disgustingly beta Jordan along by his d!@k, she’s a complete b!t@h with her mother. Meanwhile, her mother walks on eggshells around Sara, even going so far as to beg her for forgiveness after Lana smacked her in the mouth for an egregious overstep on Sara’s part. Quite frankly, Sara deserved it, and her mom went totally woke-parent afterward instead of doubling down and grounding her for talking to her with such disrespect.

Any goodwill that they built up over the first season and a half has been used up in only 3 episodes of season 3. Skip this travesty of a Superman show and watch the OG Superman instead.

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