Coraline

Coraline is a dark fantasy film that follows a young girl named Coraline Jones who discovers a secret door in her new home. The door leads to an alternate world that mirrors her own. In this “Other World,” Coraline’s “Other Mother” and “Other Father” are attentive and loving, unlike her real parents, who are often busy and distant. However, Coraline soon realizes that this world hides a sinister secret. Coraline must use her wits and bravery to escape the Other World and save her real parents, ultimately learning to appreciate the imperfect but genuine love of her real family.

Coraline Review

With an aesthetic and quirky dark sense of humor befitting a Tim Burton film (Burton has no relationship with this story), as well as exquisitely crafted designs and a unique and nuanced story told with skill and , Coraline should be an easy recommendation as Worth it for children and families. Unfortunately, it makes some wildly inappropriate choices that, combined with its rather macabre horror elements, make it impossible to recommend.

CORALINE’S PARENTAL NOTES

They’re Real, And They’re Fabulous

• One of the secondary characters is a retired female circus performer with Anna Nicole bosoms that are almost always pouring out of her suggestive outfits. The one exception is when she is in a scene in which she wears nothing more than a g-string and pasties while she bounces around doing gymnastics. The animators make sure to exaggerate said bounce.
  • In my humble opinion, this lack of judgment alone is enough to mark the film as unsafe and inappropriate.
• In the same scene as the pasties, two young and shapely women prance about in tight and suggestive outfits.
• The large-breasted elderly lady regularly extracts items from betwixt her exposed cleavage. It’s something of a running gag.

Turn On The Lights

• Coraline is dark and tense and has numerous scenes that may be too intense for young children. This is especially true of its finale, which is rather frightening as an already creepy button-eyed woman transforms into a spider-like monster and spends ten minutes trying to murder a child.
• The ghosts of three mutilated and murdered children make more than one appearance.

Hey Zeus

• There are several instances of characters saying variations of “oh my God.”

WOKE REPORT

It Was A Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini

• See the above PARENTAL NOTES for examples of the film’s needless attempt to sexualize our children.

Insert Slot A Into Slot A

• While there is nothing in the film to give us any explicit indication that the two elderly women who live in the basement apartment are anything other than lifelong friends, the book’s author claims that he always intended for them to be a lesbian couple.

Definitely not sisters. Like many elderly ladies, I do not know what they do in bed, but think of them as a couple. https://t.co/NZ4inTYn06

— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) December 27, 2015