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Fountain of Youth

You'll need a drink from its magic waters by the end. Fountain of Youth is slower than a retirement home walker race
69/10022855
Starring
John Krasinski, Natalie Portman, Eiza González, Domhnall Gleeson
Director
Guy Ritchie
Rating
PG-13
Genre
Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Mystery
Release date
May 23, 2025
Where to watch
Apple TV
Overall Score
Rating Overview
Story/Plot/Script
Visuals/Cinematography
Performance
Direction
Non-Wokeness
Rating Summary
You may want to freebase some NoDoz before sitting down for this, because Fountain of Youth is the lowest-energy world-spanning adventure since the West Indies first started shipping molasses.

In Guy Ritchie’s Fountain of Youth (2025), estranged siblings Luke Purdue (John Krasinski) and Charlotte Purdue (Natalie Portman) hunt the mythical Fountain of Youth, following clues in historic paintings across Bangkok, Vienna, and Giza’s Great Pyramid. Funded by tycoon Owen Carver (Domhnall Gleeson), they face pursuit by Interpol inspector Jamal Abbas (Arian Moayed) and Esme (Eiza González), a member of the Protectors of the Path. The siblings navigate chases, betrayals, and a secret passage, uncovering the Fountain’s dark cost.

Fountain of Youth REVIEW

Once in a generation, a film comes along that is so boring despite itself that it makes listening to that old guy at church who never stops talking while saying nothing and shaking your hand for what feels like an eternity feel like you're talking to an auctioneer.

How Guy Ritchie, of all people, could have produced such a low-energy adventure is shocking. Let's be honest, he can be a little hit and miss, might not get it right every time, but punchy action and vibrant pacing have always been his hallmarks. After only a few minutes of Fountain of Youth, it becomes pretty clear that John Krasinski, Natalie Portman, and he are there to do little more than collect paychecks.

Along with its phoned-in performances and snail's pace, Fountain of Youth suffers from the kind of third-rate contrivance-riddled and clichéd-filled muck that writer James Vanderbilt, author of Independence Day: Resurgence and Scream (2022), is quickly making a name for himself puking out.

Fountain of Youth offers nothing new, nothing creative, and nothing worth watching. Certainly, it's not worth using up Apple TV's current 7-Day Free Trial.

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  1. bowill01 May 28, 2025 at

    Spoilers **** The plot devices were aplenty. The Interpole officer just being cool and letting our heros go. The child genius who solves the puzzle for the stupid adults. The painting not being damaged after being sunk to the bottom of the ocean. The impossibly engineered moving floors that couldn’t even be done today. The girl boss trying to kill them every chance she gets but then deciding to team up. It was lazy and phoned in but I like John Krazinsky so he partly saved it. The bad guy twist was pretty obvious too when he tried to give a child alcohol repeatedly.

    Reply
  2. JohnGerhard144 July 23, 2025 at

    Cast Nicholas Cage instead of Kraszinski, and this could be titled “National Treasure 3”

    Reply

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'Audience share options' : ((preloadKind === 'ratings' || preloadKind === 'ratings-admin' || preloadKind === 'ratings-question') ? 'Ratings share options' : 'Critic share options'); renderShareOptionsLoadingWindow(previewWin, preloadHeading); } var statusEl = row.querySelector('.wiow-share-status'); if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = (platform === 'link') ? 'Copying link…' : 'Preparing share…'; try { var publicShareUrl = wiowShareFallbackUrl(row); var publicPostTitle = (row.getAttribute('data-post-title') || '').trim(); if (!publicPostTitle) publicPostTitle = 'this'; var publicShareKind = (row.getAttribute('data-share-kind') || 'critics').trim().toLowerCase(); var publicUpperTitle = publicPostTitle.toUpperCase(); var publicLineTwo = (publicShareKind === 'audience' || publicShareKind === 'audience-teaser' || publicShareKind === 'audience-question') ? 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This prevents two square // outputs or mismatched gallery states in the Share Options window. built = await buildShareImage(row, { force:true }); builtSquare = await buildShareSquareImage(row, built.cycle_image_url || '', built.poster_url || '', { force:true }); if (!built || !built.image_url) { throw new Error('Landscape share build failed.'); } if (!builtSquare || !builtSquare.image_url) { throw new Error('Square share build failed.'); } } else { built = await buildShareImage(row); } var shareUrl = built.share_url; var postUrl = (row.getAttribute('data-post-url') || '').trim() || shareUrl; var postTitle = (row.getAttribute('data-post-title') || '').trim(); if (!postTitle) postTitle = 'this'; var shareKind = (row.getAttribute('data-share-kind') || 'critics').trim().toLowerCase(); var upperTitle = postTitle.toUpperCase(); var lineTwo = (shareKind === 'audience' || shareKind === 'audience-teaser' || shareKind === 'audience-question') ? 'See what the audience is saying.' : ((shareKind === 'ratings' || shareKind === 'ratings-admin' || shareKind === 'ratings-question') ? 'See the Worth it or Woke score.' : 'See what sane critics say.'); var baseText = 'Is ' + upperTitle + ' Worth it or Woke?\n\n' + lineTwo + '\n\nFollow @worthitorwoke for more.'; var textWithUrl = baseText + '\n\n' + shareUrl; var postTextWithUrl = baseText + '\n\n' + postUrl; var encodedUrl = encodeURIComponent(shareUrl); var encodedBaseText = encodeURIComponent(baseText); var encodedTextWithUrl = encodeURIComponent(textWithUrl); if (platform === 'link') { var copiedLink = await wiowCopyShareText(shareUrl); var label = btn.querySelector('.wiow-share-btn__label'); var originalLabel = label ? label.textContent : ''; if (copiedLink) { if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = 'Link copied.'; if (label) { label.textContent = 'Copied!'; window.setTimeout(function(){ label.textContent = originalLabel || 'Copy link'; }, 1500); } } else { if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = 'Could not copy link.'; } return; } if (platform === 'x'){ // X gets the URL through the intent URL parameter, so do not also duplicate it in the tweet text. openPopup('https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=' + encodedBaseText + '&url=' + encodedUrl); } else if (platform === 'facebook'){ // Facebook sharing has been intentionally removed from this plugin flow. if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = 'Facebook sharing is currently disabled.'; } else if (platform === 'copy'){ var heading = (shareKind === 'audience' || shareKind === 'audience-teaser' || shareKind === 'audience-question') ? 'Audience share options' : ((shareKind === 'ratings' || shareKind === 'ratings-admin' || shareKind === 'ratings-question') ? 'Ratings share options' : 'Critic share options'); window.__wiowLastShareOptionsContext = { row: row, heading: heading, win: previewWin }; var shown = renderShareOptionsWindow(previewWin, built.image_url, (builtSquare ? builtSquare.image_url : ''), shareUrl, heading); if (!shown) { var copied = false; if (navigator.clipboard && window.isSecureContext && navigator.clipboard.writeText){ try { await navigator.clipboard.writeText(shareUrl); copied = true; } catch (copyErr) {} } if (!copied) { var ta = document.createElement('textarea'); ta.value = shareUrl; ta.setAttribute('readonly', 'readonly'); ta.style.position = 'fixed'; ta.style.opacity = '0'; document.body.appendChild(ta); ta.focus(); ta.select(); ta.setSelectionRange(0, ta.value.length); copied = !!document.execCommand('copy'); ta.remove(); } } } if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = (platform === 'copy') ? 'Ready.' : ''; } catch(err){ if (previewWin && !previewWin.closed) { previewWin.close(); } if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = (err && err.message) ? err.message : 'Could not share.'; } }, true); })();