Gladiator II

Gladiator II takes place 16 years after the death of Maximus Decimus Meridius. Lucius Verus, grandson of Marcus Aurelius, now lives in Numidia under the alias Hanno. His life takes a tragic turn when General Marcus Acacius leads a Roman invasion, resulting in the death of Lucius’s wife and his own enslavement. Fueled by vengeance, Lucius rises as a gladiator, battling not only for his freedom but also to seek justice.

UPDATE: As a pallet cleanser, I just rewatched the original Gladiator, and it’s such a well-done and impactful movie and stands in such stark contrast to this flick that I felt compelled to come back and adjust some of my earlier ratings for this film.

First, I lowered the Performance rating. Denzel, as great an actor as he is, was totally miscast. Even though he tries to soften his accent, he feels very much like a Yankee in King Arthur’s Court. I always find Pedro Pascal’s ubiquitousness in films to be mystifying. The man peaked in Game of Thrones and is a journeyman performer who now seems only to be able to play an uncomfortable goof (WW 1984) or tired and brooding (everything else). Further down in my original review, I refer to the twin emperors as two-dimensional cartoons. However, after rewatching Joaquin Phoenix’s layered descent into madness, it’s impossible not to see the performances of these two goobers for the melodramatic schlock that they are.

Finally, I also lowered the Visuals/Cinematography score because, although the fight scenes are mostly fine, they’re completely unimpactful and unoriginal.

Gladiator II Review

It may be true that his triumphs have outshone his more questionable offerings, but you can’t deny that Ridley Scott’s IMDB page reads like a topography map of the Himalayas, with as many valleys as it has peaks. For every Blade Runner and Alien, there’s a Robin Hood and Napoleon. Seeming more like an early draft of 2000’s Gladiator than an original work, Gladiator II may not be a valley but neither is it peak Scott.

Whereas the original was laser-focused, with immediately identifiable villains and a hero with a clearly defined goal, Gladiator II is an overstuffed imitation that tries to differentiate itself by substituting the raw emotionalism of the 2000 mega-hit with twists and political intrigue. Conceptually, power struggles and misdirection can be potent cinematic tools, but they require finesse and thoughtful application to be successful. Unfortunately, Gladiator II clumsily and unceremoniously throws them at the audience like prisoners to lions.

Characters are shoehorned into rushed storylines in the hopes that their “twist” ending will move the audience, only to fall flat. Major reveals are completely unearned. Worst of all, motivations and perspectives change without the narrative weight to support the shift. All of this is because none of the characters are well-developed. Commodus, played by Joaquin Phoenix, was a blistering cauldron of paranoia and ambition, and Russell Crowe’s Maximus was filled with righteous fury and great purpose. But, in Gladiator II, Lucius is melancholy, Pedro Pascal’s character is virtually nonexistent, and the twin emperors are two-dimensional cartoon characters.

Much was made of the initial announcement that Denzel Washington would play the Carthaginian conqueror Hannibal in this sequel, largely because Hannibal most likely wasn’t black. However, sometime after the announcement, his role was quietly changed to that of an original, fictional, and utterly underwhelming character with great ambition and little screentime. Much like the rest of the cast, his character does little more than eat up time between the action set pieces.

Most of the film’s two-and-a-half hours are filled with impressive fight scenes, which is its saving grace. They may be emotionally empty, and the animal CGI questionable, but they’re also well-choreographed, well-paced visual stunners. For ancient Rome enthusiasts, the brief naumachia battle might just be worth the price of admission on its own.

That said, aside from following the original nearly beat for beat, one of Gladiator II’s greatest failings is its place in the fictional timeline established by Scott et al. Via the title card, we immediately discover that 16 years have passed since Maximus died to save the empire, and now things are worse than ever. Learning that his sacrifice was meaningless immediately disconnects you from the member berries that were fueling any excitement you might have felt. Had Scott and crew chosen to set this story in the future or past (relative to Gladiator), it would have avoided the natural comparisons to the original and could have lived on its own merits. Instead, we’re forced to watch characters that we never really cared about, trying to force nostalgia points down our throats.

Like Icarus, Gladiator II tries to soar too close to the sun. Unlike that ancient myth, the film doesn’t plummet to a watery grave; however, it does get singed.

WOKE ELEMENTS

Themyscira

• Lucius’s 90-lb wife is a warrior because we can’t have a traditional wife on screen, can we? She’s little more than a plot device and only on screen for a few moments, so I didn’t ding the Woke-O-Meter too hard.
• The first Gladiator firmly established that Lucilla couldn’t rule because she was a woman. However, when the plotting to depose the generically evil emperors begins in this film, the all-male conspirators don’t hesitate to support her as empress over Pedro Pascal’s pseudo-Maximus, whom she supports.
  • This subplot is forgotten by the next scene, so it didn’t cost the movie too many woke points.

Diverse and Tolerant Recruiting Policy

• It’s theoretically possible that the Praetorian Guard and Roman Army contained black-skinned Africans, but their numbers would be much lower than they are represented in this film. We see these two groups very briefly, and since there is no direct evidence that they weren’t diverse in real life, it didn’t move the woke needle very far.

DEInzel

• When it was first announced that Denzel Washington would be playing the Carthaginian conqueror, Hannibal, many found themselves accusing the filmmakers of blackwashing. After all, these are the same people who say that only those whose real-life parallels that of their characters may play them, and the hypocrisy rubbed many the wrong way. However, Denzel’s character was changed sometime before the film’s release and appeared to be wholly original and fictional.

I’m Haunted By The Kiss That You Should Have Never Given Me

• There’s a single line delivered by Washington in which he laughingly admits to preferring the sexual company of men. It’s completely devoid of narrative relevance and a total non sequitur.
  • Rumor has it that a scene was filmed in which Washington kisses a man on the lips. However, it was cut from the final product.