Love Hurts

Love Hurts is a bizarre, messy action-comedy that somehow stays entertaining thanks almost entirely to Ke Huy Quan’s charm and commitment.
43494
Starring
Ke Huy Quan, Ariana DeBose, Mustafa Shakir
Director
Jonathan Eusebio
Rating
R
Genre
Action, Comedy
Release date
Feb 7, 2025
Overall Score
Rating Overview
Story/Plot/Script
Visuals/Cinematography
Performance
Direction
Non-Wokeness
Rating Summary
Love Hurts is one of the most difficult movies that I've ever had to critique because even by the morning after, I can't tell if it is deceptively one of the more brilliant films that I've ever seen or one of the dumbest. One thing is for certain: you have to be in the right headspace to enjoy it.

In Love Hurts, Marvin, a former hitman turned realtor, finds his peaceful life upended when his past catches up with him, forcing him to confront his former partner-in-crime… his brother. As Marvin navigates this deadly situation, he must decide whether to return to his old ways or find a new path forward.

Love Hurts Review

What did I just watch?

Produced by the same people who brought us Nobody and Violent Night, Love Hurts is an enigma wrapped in a Jackie Chan movie, seasoned with Ernest Goes to Jail and topped with a counterfeit Tarantino.

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The film is awful by all measurable criteria. It’s full of ridiculous characters, over-the-top yet middling action, mediocre performances, dumb characters, and bad dialogue. Beyond that, the premise is so far below the borderline that not even banging Forest Gump’s mom would be enough to get it into normie school. However, despite that, or by some Elon Musk-level 3D chess genius, it’s great—except that maybe it’s not.

As always, Ke Huy Quan is infinitely loveable, making it impossible not to root for him. Yet, the Academy Award-winner brings more to the role than merely his immeasurable charisma. The diminutive actor is fully invested in every aspect of his character, delivering a heartfelt and earnest performance that magically elevates all the over-the-top nonsense going on around him.

But that shouldn’t be enough to make the film worth watching or overcome everything technically wrong with it. And that’s where I’m stumped. I can’t tell if Love Hurts is a meta-aware satirical action comedy romance with a heart that wants you to laugh at it or a really really dumb action comedy romance with a heart that wants you to laugh with it.

My guess is that if you genuinely love movies like Big Trouble in Little China, you’ll get as big a kick out of Love Hurts as I did.  Just know that buying a ticket is a complete gamble.

P.S. It’s nothing like Big Trouble in Little China. You just have to have that kind of sensibility to like it.

Woke Report

WOKE REPORT

You're Only Getting Half the Picture.

This section is our site's secret sauce, and what truly separates us from the rest. If you don't read it, you haven't read our review.

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James Carrick

James Carrick is a passionate film enthusiast with a degree in theater and philosophy. James approaches dramatic criticism from a philosophic foundation grounded in aesthetics and ethics, offering insight and analysis that reveals layers of cinematic narrative with a touch of irreverence and a dash of snark.

Leave a Review
  1. Bigwig30 February 7, 2025 at

    Definitely sounds like a “renter” for me. And I do like Big Trouble in Little China, but only the Jack Burton parts. Any time he is not the center of attention Big Trouble is in big trouble. Sounds like maybe this film same? When Short Round has the stage it’s better/more fun/less lousy?

  2. BasedDestroyer69 February 14, 2025 at

    You are my hero james Carrick!!! My kids look up too you!!!

    1
    1
  3. Ktuff_morning February 17, 2025 at

    Why does your review have to be so maximal? Jesus Christ save some adjectives for the rest of us. And again, where’s the woke? How come you don’t write about woke any more? A movie starring that grown-up midget Short Round, excuse me, that grown-up midget “height-challenged ovoid”, has got to have SOME woke in there somewhere.

    REDACTED

    1
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    1. James Carrick February 17, 2025 at

      You are welcome to continue to post on this site. However, if your rambling tirades are inorganically unrelated to the post (e.g. political and/or ideological screes that you begin for no other reason than you are a lonely lunatic whose methadone has worn off), we have a forum in which you may post your particular brand of nonsense.

      You are owed nothing.

      3
      4

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'); targetWin.document.close(); } } return false; }; // Unified capture-phase share handler. Chrome incognito can allow the visual // pointer animation while another script prevents the later bubbling click // handler from ever running. Handle all top-level share buttons here first. document.addEventListener('click', async function(e){ var targetEl = e.target && e.target.nodeType === 1 ? e.target : (e.target && e.target.parentElement ? e.target.parentElement : null); var btn = targetEl && targetEl.closest ? targetEl.closest('.wiow-share-btn') : null; if (!btn) return; // Ignore the Audience modal "Rate" button (it also has wiow-share-btn class in your CSS usage) if (btn.hasAttribute('data-wiow-audience-open')) return; var row = btn.closest('[data-wiow-share="1"], .wiow-share-row'); if (!row) return; var platform = btn.getAttribute('data-platform'); // Public top-level controls must work even when AJAX generation or membership-gated data is unavailable. // Options still uses the full image-builder path below. if (platform === 'x' || platform === 'link') { e.preventDefault(); e.stopPropagation(); var quickStatus = row.querySelector('.wiow-share-status'); var quickUrl = btn.getAttribute('data-copy-url') || row.getAttribute('data-share-page') || row.getAttribute('data-post-url') || wiowShareFallbackUrl(row); if (!quickUrl) { if (quickStatus) quickStatus.textContent = 'No share URL available.'; return; } if (platform === 'x') { openPopup(btn.getAttribute('href') || btn.getAttribute('data-wiow-x-intent') || wiowShareXIntentUrl(row)); if (quickStatus) quickStatus.textContent = ''; return; } if (quickStatus) quickStatus.textContent = 'Copying link…'; var copiedQuick = await wiowCopyShareText(quickUrl); var quickLabel = btn.querySelector('.wiow-share-btn__label'); var quickOriginal = quickLabel ? quickLabel.textContent : 'Copy link'; if (copiedQuick) { if (quickStatus) quickStatus.textContent = 'Link copied.'; if (quickLabel) { quickLabel.textContent = 'Copied!'; window.setTimeout(function(){ quickLabel.textContent = quickOriginal || 'Copy link'; }, 1500); } } else { if (quickStatus) quickStatus.textContent = 'Could not copy link.'; } return; } e.preventDefault(); var previewWin = null; if (platform === 'copy') { previewWin = openShareOptionsWindow(); var preloadKind = (row.getAttribute('data-share-kind') || 'critics').trim().toLowerCase(); var preloadHeading = (preloadKind === 'audience' || preloadKind === 'audience-teaser' || preloadKind === 'audience-question') ? 'Audience share options' : ((preloadKind === 'ratings' || preloadKind === 'ratings-admin' || preloadKind === 'ratings-question') ? 'Ratings share options' : 'Critic share options'); renderShareOptionsLoadingWindow(previewWin, preloadHeading); } var statusEl = row.querySelector('.wiow-share-status'); if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = (platform === 'link') ? 'Copying link…' : 'Preparing share…'; try { var publicShareUrl = wiowShareFallbackUrl(row); var publicPostTitle = (row.getAttribute('data-post-title') || '').trim(); if (!publicPostTitle) publicPostTitle = 'this'; var publicShareKind = (row.getAttribute('data-share-kind') || 'critics').trim().toLowerCase(); var publicUpperTitle = publicPostTitle.toUpperCase(); var publicLineTwo = (publicShareKind === 'audience' || publicShareKind === 'audience-teaser' || publicShareKind === 'audience-question') ? 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This prevents two square // outputs or mismatched gallery states in the Share Options window. built = await buildShareImage(row, { force:true }); builtSquare = await buildShareSquareImage(row, built.cycle_image_url || '', built.poster_url || '', { force:true }); if (!built || !built.image_url) { throw new Error('Landscape share build failed.'); } if (!builtSquare || !builtSquare.image_url) { throw new Error('Square share build failed.'); } } else { built = await buildShareImage(row); } var shareUrl = built.share_url; var postUrl = (row.getAttribute('data-post-url') || '').trim() || shareUrl; var postTitle = (row.getAttribute('data-post-title') || '').trim(); if (!postTitle) postTitle = 'this'; var shareKind = (row.getAttribute('data-share-kind') || 'critics').trim().toLowerCase(); var upperTitle = postTitle.toUpperCase(); var lineTwo = (shareKind === 'audience' || shareKind === 'audience-teaser' || shareKind === 'audience-question') ? 'See what the audience is saying.' : ((shareKind === 'ratings' || shareKind === 'ratings-admin' || shareKind === 'ratings-question') ? 'See the Worth it or Woke score.' : 'See what sane critics say.'); var baseText = 'Is ' + upperTitle + ' Worth it or Woke?\n\n' + lineTwo + '\n\nFollow @worthitorwoke for more.'; var textWithUrl = baseText + '\n\n' + shareUrl; var postTextWithUrl = baseText + '\n\n' + postUrl; var encodedUrl = encodeURIComponent(shareUrl); var encodedBaseText = encodeURIComponent(baseText); var encodedTextWithUrl = encodeURIComponent(textWithUrl); if (platform === 'link') { var copiedLink = await wiowCopyShareText(shareUrl); var label = btn.querySelector('.wiow-share-btn__label'); var originalLabel = label ? label.textContent : ''; if (copiedLink) { if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = 'Link copied.'; if (label) { label.textContent = 'Copied!'; window.setTimeout(function(){ label.textContent = originalLabel || 'Copy link'; }, 1500); } } else { if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = 'Could not copy link.'; } return; } if (platform === 'x'){ // X gets the URL through the intent URL parameter, so do not also duplicate it in the tweet text. openPopup('https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=' + encodedBaseText + '&url=' + encodedUrl); } else if (platform === 'facebook'){ // Facebook sharing has been intentionally removed from this plugin flow. if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = 'Facebook sharing is currently disabled.'; } else if (platform === 'copy'){ var heading = (shareKind === 'audience' || shareKind === 'audience-teaser' || shareKind === 'audience-question') ? 'Audience share options' : ((shareKind === 'ratings' || shareKind === 'ratings-admin' || shareKind === 'ratings-question') ? 'Ratings share options' : 'Critic share options'); window.__wiowLastShareOptionsContext = { row: row, heading: heading, win: previewWin }; var shown = renderShareOptionsWindow(previewWin, built.image_url, (builtSquare ? builtSquare.image_url : ''), shareUrl, heading); if (!shown) { var copied = false; if (navigator.clipboard && window.isSecureContext && navigator.clipboard.writeText){ try { await navigator.clipboard.writeText(shareUrl); copied = true; } catch (copyErr) {} } if (!copied) { var ta = document.createElement('textarea'); ta.value = shareUrl; ta.setAttribute('readonly', 'readonly'); ta.style.position = 'fixed'; ta.style.opacity = '0'; document.body.appendChild(ta); ta.focus(); ta.select(); ta.setSelectionRange(0, ta.value.length); copied = !!document.execCommand('copy'); ta.remove(); } } } if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = (platform === 'copy') ? 'Ready.' : ''; } catch(err){ if (previewWin && !previewWin.closed) { previewWin.close(); } if (statusEl) statusEl.textContent = (err && err.message) ? err.message : 'Could not share.'; } }, true); })();