- Starring
- Robert Pattinson, Holliday Grainger, Naomi Ackie
- Director
- Bong Joon Ho
- Rating
- R
- Genre
- Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi
- Release date
- March 7, 2025
Overall Score
Rating Overview
Rating Summary
Mickey 17 takes us through the void of space to the frigid, unforgiving world of Nilfheim, where Mickey Barnes serves as an “Expendable”—a glorified crash-test dummy for space colonization. His job? Die horribly over and over again, only to be reprinted with his memories intact, so the colony’s more valuable residents don’t have to risk their own necks. But when the 17th iteration of Mickey is presumed dead yet miraculously survives, he returns to find Mickey 18 already walking around in his place.
Mickey 17 Review
The trailers would have you believe that Mickey 17 is a satirical exploration of what it means to be human. Are we more than meat and memories? The reality is that the film serves up a car-mask-wearing AOC-Jasmine-Crocket script written in crayon as it borishly clubs audience heads with drunk girl at the bar humor (I’m *hiccup* funny. You’re just too dumb *pukes in her mouth and swallows it* to get me.) and asks the question, “Who needs a well-told and thoughtful story when you can just vomit shallow metaphors all over the screen like the morning after a shellfish bender instead?
In Mickey 17, Korean writer/director Bong Joon Ho, known for dystopian satires like the Academy Award-winning Parasite (6 Oscars including Best Picture) and the global warming cult’s darling Snowpiercer, once again tackles social inequities, government overreach, and more (so much more… like a relentless deluge of more- see the WOKE REPORT below) in this aimless and pointless vanity project. Unfortunately, Ho’s disjointed narrative reveals a total disregard for cinematic pacing, a wet soap grasp of character development, and a complete disregard for the need for a cogent plot.
As far as performances are concerned, Pattinson clearly took his roles seriously and shows that he possesses talent far and away better than this movie deserved. The rest of the cast is there, and then there is Mark Ruffalo. Ruffalo, who anyone who has listened to or read on various social media his enumerable mindless leftist rants already knows is functionally retarded proves once and for all that he’s also a talentless hack. The She-Hulk actor spends the runtime bringing to 4K life the personification of a 90’s durr (the sound one would make when someone else said something obvious or dumb). After this embarrassing performance, he should be court-ordered to spend his own money on having all of his previous performances digitally removed and replaced with a broom.
Ultimately, Mickey 17 is the type of virtue-signaling fart-huffing that Hollywood elites love, leftist critics pretend is meaningful, and has been rotting modern cinema from within for decades.
WOKE REPORT
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James Carrick
James Carrick is a passionate film enthusiast with a degree in theater and philosophy. James approaches dramatic criticism from a philosophic foundation grounded in aesthetics and ethics, offering insight and analysis that reveals layers of cinematic narrative with a touch of irreverence and a dash of snark.
You spelled Robert Pattinson’s name (which is on the poster) as “Robert Paddinson” on the table. Did you confuse him with Paddington Bear when you were posting the trailers?
Probably
Yeah, because nobody cares. 😒
Never heard of this flick until you posted the link on X, and after reading your review, I will try to forget it again. Sounds just brutal.
Ooof, the book is great and not woke at all. Why would they do this? Thanks for saving me money, I was going to go see it.
Welp, that saves me a quick €20. Thanks.
Bong Joon Ho is an awful writer and director with one note: Rich people are bad, and poor people are good. Hollywood’s rich people love this. His attacks on Trump and Republicans, all the way from Korea, will probably get him another Oscar nomination, but no one will know since no one will watch that crap show.
Sounds like it’s a ripoff of Moon anyways
Woke as #### version of Nausicaa but that was somehow the least of its problems. Plot moves at glacier speed, lots of unnecessary garbage ill-conceived scenes with the humor of a 12 year old “hehe kama sutra”, korean man can’t direct white people for #### so all the performances are wooden, tries to be AVATAR at times, there is NOTHING redeeming about this film.
Thanks for saving me hours of my life!!! The single best summary for a film yet!
That’s why I have a subscription here! 😁
Honestly just playing devil’s advocate here but how is it possible that they wrote and filmed this movie with what you say are obvious Trump and RFK analogs so shortly after the analogous elements played out?
The shooting might have been a late reshoot, or it could have been a coincidence.
That is exactly what I was going to say. Sam Rockwell was great in that film and it was not even slightly woke. I’d say watch Moon over Mickey 17, you will be a lot happier!
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