Prey

Set in the Comanche Nation 300 years ago, Prey follows Naru, a determined young woman yearning to prove herself as a skilled warrior in a world that doubts her potential. When a mysterious and lethal threat stalks the Great Plains, Naru seizes the chance to protect her people, confronting a cunning, otherworldly predator equipped with advanced technology.

Prey Review

There’s not a lot good to say about Prey. The Predator’s bone mask is cool, and that’s about it.

                   

The premise is inherently flawed, the CGI, especially the animals, is atrocious, and the lead performer is awful. Her acting puts the “mid” in Amber Midthunder, that is, unless you enjoy watching lead actresses with only one blank facial expression around whom 99% of the film’s scenes revolve. Cause if that’s your jam, grab some peanut butter.

One would think that in a movie about an alien trophy hunter, one titled Prey, that the lion’s share of it might revolve around the lead character and him duking it out, or her running for her life from him in a series of near misses brought on by quick thinking, skill, and no small amount of luck. You know… like prey. However, Hulu’s Prey spends most of its hour and thirty-nine minutes with Blank n’Angsty whining about not being taken seriously (at least I think she was whining—not sure if blocks of wood can whine) and hunting mountain lions and bears. Oh, my.

There’s really nothing else to say about Prey, because nothing else happens in Prey.

Prey should be taken out back and shot.

WOKE REPORT

Shireling Dawn Sky

• The three-foot-tall American Indian hobbit (5’5″ Amber Midthunder) who leads this travesty is the spirit animal of all girl-bosses.
  • First and foremost, the very idea that anyone in her Comanche tribe would take her desire to be a hunter seriously, or even humor her, is beyond ridiculous. That’s not how stone-age-level societies worked… ever. In a film about giant spacefaring trophy hunters, it’s the least believable thing. Yet, it is the main thrust of the film, one that is reiterated by one horribly written line after the other.
  • She repeatedly gets into hand-to-hand combat with men much larger than her.
    • In one, she fights a Comanche hunter/warrior in his prime to a standstill after punching him so hard in the mouth that his speech is slurred, and receiving a full-strength sucker-punch to her own face that should have caved it in but didn’t even draw blood. In the next cut (not scene, cut, as in the camera cuts to a new angle), she acts as though it never happened.
    • In another scene, she absolutely wrecks five or six European trappers in a row, each three times her size. When it’s over, she’s breathing a little heavily, but otherwise unscathed.
    • SHE TAKES OUT A SEVEN-FOOT PREDATOR ALMOST ENTIRELY HAND TO HAND. She uses a combination of a Predator spear (one that is so technologically advanced that it won’t allow itself to be used to stab him, so she wields it like a club) and a tiny hatchet with a three to four-inch stone blade tied to what must have been Wonder Woman’s magic rope. At one point, she leaps onto his back and strangles him with the rope. It is one of the silliest moments in Action-Adventure-Sci-Fi history.
  • She makes a weapon out of rope and a comically small stone and wood hatchet and spends about two minutes (in a montage) throwing it at the same two trees and yanking it back to catch it like she’s in a Jackie Chan film. This is apparently what it takes to stop a Predator who, in another scene, rips a 600 lbs grizzly bear to pieces with his bear hands (get it).

White Man Bad

• The white European trappers are all portrayed as monsters, surpassing even the Predator. Though, in fairness, they are French.