Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken is far from sunken treasure, nor is it the Titanic. Mostly, it's just boring.
48/100328739
Starring
Jane Fonda, Toni Collette, Annie Murphy
Directors
Kirk DeMicco, Faryn Pearl
Rating
PG
Genre
Animation, Action, Adventure, Family
Release date
June 30, 2023
Overall Score
Rating Overview
Plot/Story
40%
Visuals/Cinematography
55%
Performance
60%
Direction
60%
Children Suitability
50%
Parent Appeal
0%
Non-Wokeness
76%
Rating Summary
Managing to feel slow-paced at an hour and twenty minutes long, Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken, is an uninspired-by-the-numbers girl power chick flick that should have been shunted directly to VOD.

Get it, Gillman? They have gills, and they’re pretending to be men. Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken is as creative and original as its title.

Ruby Gillman Teenage Kraken

Ruby Gillman has been raised among us, but she is not one of us. Ruby is a Kraken, and after fifteen years of successfully keeping her identity hidden, the secret is out. Now Ruby must find out who she is, but can she do it in time to save the world?

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Featuring a script so unoriginal that audience members over 12 can play an hour and twenty-minute game of jinx with the film, Ruby Gillman isn’t the worst animated movie to ever hit the big screen.

Yet, the uninspired dialogue isn’t Teenage Kraken’s greatest weakness. In fact, it doesn’t have a greatest weakness. Instead, Ruby Gillman is colossally mediocre in all respects. From its knocked-off Wallace and Gromit character designs to its kicked-to-death sea horse of a trite and Courtney Love -level worn out “be yourself” message to a plot twist so telegraphed that even the 2022 Detroit Lions defense could see it coming, RGTK is boring.

Even its music is so on the nose and predictable that it wouldn’t be a surprise to learn that chatGPT picked it out.

With a boring and overdone plot, boring and lazy character design, boring and predictable dialogue, as well as middling voice performances, Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken, is best left in Davie Jones’ Locker. If you’re desperate for a modern animated film, check out Puss in Boots The Last Wish.

POTENTIALLY INAPPROPRIATE ELEMENTS FOR CHILDREN

  • There’s a sneeze-and-you’ll-miss-it moment in which a teenage girl mentions that she’s going to prom with another girl.
  • The sympathetic teen best friends are blue and pink-haired, nose ring-wearing, black fingernail polish (on the guy) types.
  • There’s some violence at the film’s end, and the antagonist character design might be scary for very young children.
  • One of the characters says, “mother flippin’.”
  • One of the characters says “O.M.G” (the letters, not “oh my God”).

WOKE ELEMENTS

**NOTE** This film stars Jane Fonda, who recently implied that those who believe that abortion is murder should themselves be murdered. Consider that before you decide to pad her royalty check.

The phrase “Postcolonial patriarchal construct” is used twice, but each time, the object of the ridiculous Leftist derision is expressly desired by those deriding it. So, while it is a woke phrase, it’s clearly being mocked as hypocritically overused in modern society to the point of meaninglessness.

  • There’s a sneeze and you’ll miss it moment in which a teenage girl mentions that she’s going to prom with another girl.
  • The entire movie is an overt allegory for one of the Left’s favorite tropes, “Be yourself.”
    • Have these people never met an @$$hole before? Because he or she is being themselves.
    • How about, instead, we strive to be better than ourselves, or strive to develop a strong moral foundation upon which to build ourselves into our best selves, etc.”
  • A secondary male character wears black nail polish.
  • The beautiful and popular white girl is evil.
  • The men are either goofballs, misguided and violent, or placidly ineffective.
    • However, they eventually pull themselves together to help at least at one point in the film.
  • Did you know that girls can be good at math? If not, you will by the end of the film.
  • The mother apologized to her daughter for not trusting her with information that she deemed too mature.
    • This one is a bit sticky because, as a general rule, a parent must determine what information is appropriate for their children to know. A 4-year-old doesn’t need to know the specifics of what a child molester will do to him. He need only understand the necessity of honoring his parents, that there is a potential and vague danger surrounding strangers, and appropriate protocol. However, the threat can be more specific at a certain age.
      • Where the problem lies in this movie is that the mother chooses to raise her daughter next to the ocean, which is the one thing that can trigger her transformation. It’s like raising Superman next to a kryptonite quarry but not telling him he’ll die if he gets too close.
        • So, yes, in this situation, the mother should have been more specific. However, that’s not the lesson the writers are trying to teach.

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James Carrick

James Carrick is a passionate film enthusiast with a degree in theater and philosophy. James approaches dramatic criticism from a philosophic foundation grounded in aesthetics and ethics, offering insight and analysis that reveals layers of cinematic narrative with a touch of irreverence and a dash of snark.

32 comments

  • Stop-Woke

    May 30, 2023 at 7:31 pm

    I don’t watch trailers much due to spoilers, but I watched the trailer for this film. It looks funny and non-woke. If it is, definitely taking kids to see it. I’ll wait once it’s out to see what others say about it.

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    • chris

      July 14, 2023 at 9:29 pm

      Not disagreeing with you, but there was a young female with sign the wrote “Marry Me” on it in front of the mermaid

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    • Robert S

      February 4, 2024 at 3:21 pm

      I thought the movie was anti-woke. The humans in it are so dumb from their wokeness that they cannot tell a family of krakens is living among them.

      Reply

  • Mau

    June 27, 2023 at 5:20 pm

    In the trailer, there’s a girl with a “marry me” sign, aimed at another girl (the siren). For now, that’s all I know about this movie.

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    • KK

      July 11, 2023 at 4:17 pm

      I think its just because shes popular in general, not because the girl likes the popular girl romantically

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  • Jenny

    June 30, 2023 at 9:56 pm

    Absolutely woke. This “kid movie” was filled with references to lesbianism, emasculating male characters and refers to prom as “a post colonial patriarchal construct”.

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    • Rocky

      July 1, 2023 at 2:48 pm

      Yep I’m in it right now with my 2 daughters. This is the second cartoon I’ve been in that’s had gay characters in it. This and Elemental both had alphabet people in it. That and the crt talking point about prom. It’s crazy nothing is sensible anymore.

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    • Johnny

      July 4, 2023 at 8:28 pm

      There were gay people in Elemental? How could you tell? They were just elements…

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      • James Carrick

        July 4, 2023 at 11:33 pm

        “This is my daughter (name) and her girlfriend (name).”

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    • Andy West

      July 8, 2023 at 7:30 pm

      You are ignorant at best. There were literally 2 scenes you were talking about here with the lesbian and prom thing. As far as emasculating you need to check yourself. Nature as in bees and ants always have queen bees or queen of the ants are bigger than the males. Lionesses hunt and male lions don’t. I am a very big conservative and you are just trying to find stuff to complain about. This was about as normal as it comes. Just to find anything and say it’s too woke for you is basically the same thing as being a leftist liberal. Be better, grow up and just do better

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      • stan

        July 9, 2023 at 9:06 pm

        rich for you to tell other people to do better. Are you perfect? Do you have no faults? Have you never said or done anything that offended anyone? IF you replied NO to any one of the above, your a liar, and you have to no right to tell other people how to live their lives. Move on, and focus on yourself before you comment on other people. And you can be liberal, conservative, leftist, rightist, whatever, you dont have to tell us your politicial standing, WE DON’T CARE! Even conservatives, like you, can be a$$holes.Take your own advice, and better yourself before you offer any kind of advice to anyone.

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      • stan

        July 9, 2023 at 9:17 pm

        and another thing , the only ignorant person here is you, trying to act like a conservative when your the biggest liberal i have even seen, pick a side and stick with it, no one likes a fence sitter, specially one that thinks he is more intelligent than everyone else.

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        • Giga What

          July 13, 2023 at 6:10 am

          Holy ######, you’re actually stupid.

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          • stanton

            July 19, 2023 at 7:38 am

            holy ###### like i care about your opinion.

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      • Jacob

        July 11, 2023 at 1:23 am

        There’s no emasculating in nature because they have their own set of gender roles.
        Queen bees/ants are rare and had to be protected because they are the only ones who lay eggs. And they are kil*ed if they can’t anymore. Males just reproduce and die, because that’s how they are build. They aren’t build to last.
        Lions play the role of protector to cubs when lioness are absent or when another lion tries to join the pride.

        Each have their own roles and play by it.

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      • Missy

        July 11, 2023 at 5:06 pm

        I appreciate him bothering to give me all the information so I can make the decision to see (or not) any new movie.

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      • Titus B.

        December 21, 2023 at 8:25 pm

        So you’re comparing us to animals? Last I checked, we aren’t.

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      • Dennis

        March 8, 2024 at 7:41 pm

        We are not bees nor ants. Also, Lioness do the hunting, but the males protect the pride from actual predators, especially other lions. This is a dumb post, do better.

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    • Nita

      July 31, 2023 at 6:55 am

      “a post colonial patriarchal construct” is surely a phrase children can understand and are interested in. (sarcasm)

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  • A

    July 1, 2023 at 9:38 am

    The first words after the title are, “Starring Jane Fonda.” You can stop reading right there, because that’s a dead giveaway it’s woke.

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  • ChoketheWoke

    July 1, 2023 at 10:39 pm

    What’s the problem with the 3.6% of homosexuals in the world being represented as if they made up 40% of the population? Don’t you want your children to know how beautiful it is when a behind hole is penetrated?

    You want to stop this Woke garbage? STOP giving them your money, it’s propaganda, not entertainment. That means you’re justified in getting a VPN and DOWNLOADING it from a torrent site.

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    • Desi

      July 2, 2023 at 12:59 pm

      I agree. There used to be a time when I would take my kids to see EVERY cartoon/superhero movie without the fear of something political and woke. That has obviously changed over the years and now I have to read excessive reviews or check this page to make sure I’m not supporting a cause that I don’t agree with. We rarely go to the movies now, when we used to go every week. It seems like every single movie has some type of woke element in it now.

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    • Giga What

      July 13, 2023 at 6:11 am

      Ahhh, so you’re willing to enjoy the content, but not pay for it. Can’t even follow your own morals within your principles.

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  • JR

    July 5, 2023 at 1:52 am

    Wokeness aside, the animation is pretty off-putting. And no offence to my lovely American friends across the pond, but the modern American teenager portrayed in TV and movies is one of the most annoying and unlikable persons ever. Especially in animation. Why must the main character always walk around with that stupid “Yup, that’s me” grin on their faces and carry the aura of a spoilt toddler with a victim complex? The ones making movies are so disconnected from reality that they lack the heart and talent to create something worthwhile–which is a terrible combination with the woke agendas they are tied to.

    These days, if you see teens as the main cast, you 99% know what you’re getting. I avoid immediately.

    Ironically, Gen Z are not all like this–in fact, most are not! And it’s causing many to give up movies and instead turn their attentions to gaming or social media videos.

    Movies are dead.

    PS: Love this site!

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  • Sandy

    July 10, 2023 at 3:49 pm

    Watched this for free. Glad i did. My god. So woke. And just a really poor, LAZY film. Boring is right.

    Love this site nore and more

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  • Missy

    July 11, 2023 at 5:12 pm

    Thank you for taking the time to review and catalogue all of the potential work elements in films. It’s already very expensive to see movies, and finding out the movie is woke from your reviews makes it so much easier to decide if we spend our hard-earned cash on a film. Your site is the only one I trust for an accurate review and I will keep coming back here so long as you keep reviewing. Appreciate the hard work! Keep it up!

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  • Hollyweird

    July 18, 2023 at 11:45 pm

    You missed a lot of woke elements:

    1) One that stands out immediately is all of the miscegenation. This is a common trope you will notice in woke movies, especially kids shows. Most, if not all, couples are interracial. A very leftist world view that is highly unrealistic in reality.

    2) Many of the characters are designed to look androgynous; where it leaves you guessing what gender they are: male or female? All by design.

    3) There is also boys asking boys to the prom along with girls asking girls. Just pay attention to what is going on in the background.

    4) A boy follows the girls into the girl’s bathroom and is very effeminate. Showing that it is supposed to be normal for boys and girls to be using the bathroom together.

    I am sure I missed more as I am not even done watching the movie.

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  • Mike

    July 21, 2023 at 1:49 am

    A couple of years ago when my daughter starting watching Anime, I was concerned about what kind of content she might be watching. But now I’m more concerned about the content on these western cartoons.

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  • Jeff

    January 15, 2024 at 12:16 am

    Deceptively woke… for sure. The prom-posal scene had more gay characters proposing than normal couples. Watch it again, make sure you look at the proposals going on on the sides of the screen. Also, it’s 2023 so I’m well aware interracial relationships are vary common place but not to the degree that this movie would have you believe as there were multiple prom-posals between interracial couples and the main romance in the movie was between mixed races (assuming the main character Kraken was deemed non-poc, though the actress playing her is of asian ethnicity).

    The main characters friends are complete weirdos and the men in the movie, minus the hip poc love interest, are total dopes. It’s no coincidence that the evil villain is what society would deem a prototypical “popular” girl.

    Final verdict, this movie is guilty sneaking in all kinds of non-normal lifestyles in an attempt to normalize them even if much of it is at a subconscious level as it doesnt take up much of the actual movie time. DO NOT SUBJECT YOUR CHILDREN TO THIS BRAINWASHING HOGWASH. They are very observant and will notice all of the little subtle lbgtq+i-×TV? references.

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  • elena

    February 3, 2024 at 8:48 am

    This is definitely a woke-film!! We are left with zero choices! Our children can’t watch nothnig filmed after 2021!

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  • Malachi

    February 10, 2024 at 6:05 pm

    I went to see this in theatres with my friends because we were bored and it was only five dollars per person. The whole cinema was empty, which really tells you all you need to know.

    It was another one of those coming of age films that was too fast paced, predictable, and lacked character depth. Even if you cut out the wokeness, the movie still fell flat on its face. The producers tried to hide the wokeness, such as the lesbian couple and comments on the patriarchy, but instead it was an awkward mix between overt and covert.

    This is a good movie to watch if you plan on being on your phone the whole time, probably trying to find different movies to watch.

    Reply

  • Cooper Rechene

    March 30, 2024 at 7:43 am

    Yeah, this movie was fine. It wasn’t amazing but I’d watch it again, at least. It had a lot of feminism though and Ruby’s best friend wears a gay flag pin.

    Reply

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