The RIP

In the sweltering underbelly of Miami, one routine bust changes everything. When The Rip hits, millions vanish into questions no one dares ask aloud. Partnerships fracture, secrets surface, and every choice carries a deadly cost. Trust no one.

The RIP MINI-Review

Surviving entirely on Mattfleck’s chemistry, The RIP is a by-the-numbers “thriller” with a twist you can see coming from space. The two Academy Award-winning actors hold up a script that’s as flat as Elliot Page— one that would have been 30 minutes shorter had they cut out the phrase “The RIP.”

The miscasting of Teyana Taylor, that is as unfortunate as the Macho Man costume they stuffed her in, as well as director Joe Carnahan’s derivative style, aren’t quite enough to entirely sink this straight-to-Netflix film, but 30 years ago, it would have been the type of movie that you would have found in the DVD bargain bin.

Though, to be fair, while this contrived microwave dinner drama won’t leave you breathless by the end, it’s the perfect Netflix experience for those who spend as much time on their phones as watching the movie, reitterating it’s plot every ten minutes, and spinning its wheels with filler, while Gen-Z finishes hearting grams.

With just enough mystery layered on to make a case for turning it on, The RIP is adequate enough to serve as background noise, but there are far more nourishing cop dramas out there to pick from.

WOKE REPORT

Freeze, We’re the DEI

• With two white male leads, Netflix had no choice but to pick everybody else on Damon and Affleck’s special police force from a Target commercial.
  • It wouldn’t even be so bad if it weren’t for the clown costume they put Teyana Taylor in in an effort to make her look tough.
  • The reason that the Woke-O-Meter isn’t lower: The diverse cast is mostly just there, and while the female characters talk a little tough, they really are little more than jumped-up set pieces. It looks artificial, but it’s not a significant issue.