Venom: The Last Dance

Venom: The Last Dance is less Dancing With The Stars and more like drunk white guys at a wedding when the DJ plays Yeah!.
59/10053491
Starring
Tom Hardy, Alanna Ubach, Juno Temple
Director
Kelly Marcel
Rating
PG-13
Genre
Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller
Release date
Oct 25, 2024
Overall Score
Rating Overview
Story/Plot
Visuals/Cinematography
Performance
Direction
Non-Wokeness
Rating Summary
A shabby and half-baked sequel that isn't even competent enough to fully relegate Venom and Eddy to secondary characters (despite its obvious intentions to do so), The Last Dance is a clumsily written farewell that will leave you feeling as numb as a TENS unit convention with a novocaine drip.
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In Venom: The Last Dance, Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) and his symbiotic partner, Venom, find themselves on the run from both the law and the formidable Knull, the King in Black. As fugitives, they navigate a series of dangerous encounters while trying to clear their names and stop Knull from escaping his prison.

Venom: The Last Dance Review

Despite the fact that the last few years have seen Slim Pickens riding the MCU ever closer to a cinematic holocaust, studios like Sony continue to attempt to replicate the billions-dollar money-printing phenomenon of Marvel’s Phases 1 through 3 by taking a swing at their own “cinematic universe.” So far, none have come close, and most have fizzled faster than Kamala’s post-debate popularity rating. Venom: The Last Dance doesn’t seem likely to change the calculus.

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That much of this sequel consists of Eddie and Venom wandering lost in the desert is the perfect metaphor for the rest of the film. As each useless scene begins with an always needless and often redundant exposition dump or recap, and the two main characters bounce from one meaningless locale to the next with no particular plan of action, participating in no fewer than two musical interludes, one of which includes a dance number, it quickly becomes clear that first-time director/ “experienced” screenwriter Kelly Marcel (Fifty Shades of Grey) was in over her head.

The Last Dance is also a technical mess with no sense of distance between set pieces or the passage of time. Marcel appears to have no instinct for where to point the camera to take advantage of anything that might look “cool.” Scenes, too, are a broken rhythm of either highly frenetic, sometimes overly dark, action sequences with so many quick cuts and similar-looking fodder characters as to render them worthless, or they are overlong and packed with redundant and/or meaningless filler dialogue. The villain is beyond generic, and his presence and motivations are so underutilized and underwhelming that one wonders how much worse AI screenplays could be. Mindless, identical, and with one of cinema’s dumbest intentional design flaws/plot conveniences, his henchmen are even less impressive.

Moreover, its bloated cast of undeveloped (not under-undeveloped) characters seems only to exist to either awkwardly force the plot along, deliver humorless gags, or spin off the franchise.

Venom: The Last Dance is a shockingly boring film with a screenplay that feels as though a middle schooler wrote it.

 

WOKE ELEMENTS

DEI: Doubt Casting Casting
  • As always, the number one problem with DEI initiatives is that they cast doubt on the qualifications of every woman and high-melanin-level actor.
    • A smattering of casting of some tertiary and background characters seems forced—namely, the number of mildly attractive women scientists below AREA 51. While the number of male-to-female scientists is growing closer to 50/50 in the U.S., it remains a male-dominated fellowship. In Venom: The Last Dance, the number is about three to one, female to male.
Cinematic Replacement Theory
  • Spoiler
    Assuming that this movie makes enough money to warrant a spinoff, they’ve set it up so that the only symbiote left is some random chick with superspeed and lighting powers. As far as I can tell, she’s an original character who appears far more powerful than Venom. Her presence in the film is unsatisfying and unwarranted, and she appears to exist only to become the female replacement for Venom.
    . She only appears in the film’s last few minutes, so it’s not enough to knock the score down too much.
G.I. Jane
  • At least one of the special forces troops sent to capture the superstrong, superfast, super-ferocious Venom is a chick. There are currently no combat female special forces operatives in the U.S. because none have had the physical attributes to successfully complete the training courses.

James Carrick

James Carrick is a passionate film enthusiast with a degree in theater and philosophy. James approaches dramatic criticism from a philosophic foundation grounded in aesthetics and ethics, offering insight and analysis that reveals layers of cinematic narrative with a touch of irreverence and a dash of snark.

5 comments

  • Sweet Deals

    October 26, 2024 at 8:04 pm

    I don’t remember how long ago the first Venom came out. When it did, my cousin was obsessed with it in the same way that lots of seven-year-olds are obsessed with awesome monsters. I had no interest in watching a comic book movie, but he got so excited about it that when he invited me to watch it with him, I sat down next to him and let him show me how cool Venom was. We only got about twenty minutes in before his mother called us up for dinner, but what I do remember was an opening scene where an alien spaceship falls from the sky and starts gobbling up scared people. The rest of it was what my cousin referred to as the “boring origin story”. He didn’t care about the humans showing off their new inventions, staging protests or making pillow talk. He wanted to see the freaky space monster go on a rampage and eat people, and that’s really all he wanted to see.

    Normally, as an adult, I would say that the “boring origin story” is the part that makes the action meaningful. But since this is a comic book movie with very thin plot, I’m inclined to let out my inner seven-year-old. If I skipped the story and went straight to the good parts where Venom gets to do his thing, would I at least get twenty minutes of awesome monster mayhem instead of two hours of wishing the movie was over?

    Reply

  • Percy

    October 27, 2024 at 1:47 pm

    If you guys want a good venom movie, watch Spider-Man 3. Venom the last dance, was pretty disappointing which is too bad. Tom Hardy did amazing as Bane in the Dark Knight Rises and I too, am a fan of the anti hero Venom. The Tom Hardy Venom however is too….emasculated.

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  • adam steve

    December 8, 2024 at 3:09 am

    my favorite aspect of the site is how nobody gives a fuck about the media analysis and only come to see if the movie is woke or not. and you cannot even gauge this properly as seen by the differing audience opinions.nobody cares about your venom opinions because it is irrelevant to the wokeometer

    Reply

  • fastforward39

    January 15, 2025 at 10:15 pm

    I like this review, it was very well-written and all, but was the jab at white people in the opening blurb really necessary? We have to navigate our lives where the entire media is constantly demeaning and belittling us for our race, and I figured I’d go to this site to escape all of that, but here you are making fun of white people too. That’s something a woke liberal would do.

    Please refrain from any more racist jokes towards white people in the future. Other than that, like I said, good review.

    Reply

    • James Carrick

      January 15, 2025 at 10:26 pm

      I’m a wedding DJ who has seen a lot of drunk white guys dancing to Yeah!. I’ve also been a drunk white guy dancing to Yeah!.

      The joke was all in good fun. While, I certainly understand your rawness, we can’t afford to be as sensitive as our Leftist counterparts. We have to rise above them and show that we can give as good as we get.

      I’m glad that you enjoyed the rest of the review. Welcome to the community!

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