- Starring
- Brian Cox, Christopher Lee, Miranda Otto
- Director
- Kenji Kamiyama
- Rating
- PG-13
- Genre
- Action, Adventure, Animation, Drama, Fantasy
- Release date
- December 13, 2024
Overall Score
Rating Overview
Rating Summary
Set 183 years before the events of the original “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. The War of the Rohirrim centers on Helm Hammerhand, the legendary king of Rohan, and his family as they defend their kingdom against an invading army of Dunlendings. Helm’s fierce leadership and his people’s bravery are tested as they fight to protect their homeland.
The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim Review
The War of the Rohirrim should be titled The War of Two Different Movies. In one, men of consequence bitterly war over little while fighting even less. In the other, a curvy chick with no personality and a life goal to be nothing, have nothing, and be loved by no one is repeatedly held up as the pinnacle of personhood for no obvious reason. In yet another disappointing Lord of the Rings spinoff, audiences are treated to an awkward mashup of the two.
Crafted by three experienced “writers,” for this entry into The Lord of the Rings lore, it seems as though at least one had an agenda beyond that of creating a thrilling and visceral spectacle full of manly valor and righteous fury all narratively guided by interesting characters. Because, for every moment that audiences are treated to that, there are two in which Hèra talks (and talks) about her feelings and/or her hopes for the future.
The “war” itself consists of two incredibly brief skirmishes and a prolonged siege that does a wonderful job of making the audience feel as though it’s behind the walls with the Rohirrim, sitting and waiting to die.
Nothing is helped by the fact that experienced warriors make repeated boneheaded decisions all for the sake of moving what story there is forward. Anyone who’s played DnD more than once will find themselves infuriated by the complete lack of forward momentum and problem-solving once the Rohirrim have made their way to what is now known as Helm’s Deep. Rather than pulling their resources and attempting to figure a way out of their predicament, both battle-hardened warriors and peasants alike seem to content themselves with quietly sitting as fate glacially claims their lives.
Fortunately for them, the antagonist is as stupid as they are.
WOKE ELEMENTS
I Ain’t Need No Man
- Scoring the wokeness for this movie was particularly challenging. On the one hand, the primary character was, for the most part, not a girl boss at all. Rather, she was kind and respectful and regularly got her rear handed to her by larger, stronger men – needing to be rescued more than once. On the other hand, focusing the movie on this relatively weak and uninteresting character made no sense and would have fit the narrative better had she been more of a Rey. Instead, her character arc was to proudly end up unmarried, alone, and without any responsibility – remaining a “free spirit.” However, despite her celebrated goal, the movie wasn’t about that at all. Certainly, the theme was unnaturally shoehorned in occasionally as a silly reminder, but it didn’t drive what story there was. So, while The War of the Rohirrim was 100% ruined by wokeness, its content wasn’t entirely woke. After all, something has to happen for it to be woke.
- Virtually every man was strong and capable, if flawed, and all of the primary male Rohirrim got more than one chance to show their unbridled heroism. It was a bizarre and ineffective mix of traditional masculinity and third-wave feminism.
James Carrick
James Carrick is a passionate film enthusiast with a degree in theater and philosophy. James approaches dramatic criticism from a philosophic foundation grounded in aesthetics and ethics, offering insight and analysis that reveals layers of cinematic narrative with a touch of irreverence and a dash of snark.
9 comments
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December 13, 2024 at 11:09 pm
One of my undergrads is in English. I’m a huge fan of Tolkien the author and Tolkien the devotee of Anglo Saxon literature; I learned Old English in part from his work. That said, I don’t possess the vocabulary – in any language – to describe how abysmal this adaptation of his work appears to be, based on this trailer.
PurpleSanz
December 15, 2024 at 2:40 pm
She is a different kind of girl boss, with the movie basically showing how bad things keep happening every time stubborn dumb men won’t listen to her “wise words”. She always HAS to be right.
In the same way, the movie is always praising her about being free, wild, untamable, and how she could even “rule the world”. *Facepalm* When in reality, her character is just lame and boring. Yet, the movie tries so hard to shove how great and likeable she is, into your throat.
Of course she has to make it clear at the end that “she needs no man”.
Also, for Tolkien fans:
– She is not the main character in the original story, her name isn’t even mentioned.
– Fréaláf Hildeson is the one who slays Wulf at the end, saving Rohan and claiming the throne. But of course a woman had to replace him.
The animation, facial expressions and lipsync suck ass, by the way.
Sweet Deals
December 16, 2024 at 1:55 am
If there’s one quality I definitely cannot tolerate, it’s vanity. Vanity is the quality that says “I’m the best, the coolest, and the most important person in the room. I’m better than all of you, and don’t you ever forget it. Everyone must adore me, and aspire to be more like me. And anyone who doesn’t love me, doesn’t agree with everything I say, or stands in the way of getting everything that I want deserves to be pilloried because they’re stupid and uncool.” Exposure to vanity poisons my soul and brings out my absolute worst impulses. It goes beyond corrosive envy and into burning resentment. It makes me want to wish all sorts of ill fates on the vain person just to humble them and make them realize that they’re not as special or important as they think they are.
The ironic thing is that vain people act this way because they want to be loved and admired, but they don’t realize that vanity is the precise opposite of attractive. It’s highly repellent. I would even go so far to declare that vanity is one of the greatest sources of all things woke.
Jim Savile
December 21, 2024 at 7:57 am
Stupid woke woman movie. George RR Tolkien must be rolling in his grave
Christopher Richard
December 29, 2024 at 12:59 am
A very solid adaption and expansion of Tolkien’s story of Helm Hammerhand. The screenplay was well-written (with a few cringe-inducing exceptions) and includes an interesting plot twist — it does not fall into the memberberry fest so common to prequels. I think that Hera could have been written as something less of a critique of the patriarchy and more of an Eowyn-type character with a comparatively modest understanding of her role in the kingdom of Rohan.
Cari L.
December 29, 2024 at 7:45 pm
Welp, I knew it was gonna stink. I still held out hope, though, since I thought they’d make her more like Eowyn. LOTR is doomed–I’ll stick to my books and the Peter Jackson films (we don’t speak of THe Hobbit triology).
Sweet Deals
December 30, 2024 at 2:00 pm
I personally prefer the Rankin-Bass animated versions myself.
fastforward39
January 6, 2025 at 9:13 pm
I hate women as much as the next guy but honestly this wasn’t THAT bad, at least compared to garbage like Furiosa or Wicked. I’d take a blank slate over a whiny activist Starbucks communist crypto fascist like Elphaba any day.
Captain Anon
March 15, 2025 at 10:13 am
I thought this movie was fantastic. I fail to see how this movie gets criticised for being woke, because Hera was very much an Eowyn type character, who while being a strong female character was not a Mary Sue girlboss.